Church too far away for young family
Q: I am in need of some encouragement and advice. My husband and I used to attend a local church every week with our families, but we moved away, not long ago.
There are no churches close (within 30 minutes) where we live, and my husband has become discouraged and no longer wants to attend church altogether. As for me, like I said there are no churches close to us, and I want to worship somewhere regularly and would like our small children to be familiar with attending church weekly. This is very hard for me, since we live so far away from the closest church around. And I am afraid to drive alone with my kids at night or take them to services alone I general since they are so small. I’m extremely introverted and don’t know anyone at all at this church that’s closest to us. I am extremely discouraged, and just want my husband to be eager to attend services again and our whole family be involved in church more. Advice? Prayers appreciated too.
A: Before job accepting, didnt you look for a church (before deciding where to live)? Our life centers around the church. It is our family community; essential place, for believers.
Are you sure theres none nearby? Sometimes theres small biblical home churches you arent aware of nearby. If it happens to be truly a dry town and only good one is that far away, 🤔 theres ideas below😊.
I will say I know many folk who drive 1.5 hours to church every Sunday. Even in cities it's often a long drive to a biblical church. But if he's really just not trying to go, there's a spiritual problem and he needs to examine his faith to see if he is saved. If hes not reading Scripture daily then it is easy to get complacent and fall in sin, and not go to church. It is important to course correct fast.
Shoot him the ideas below, and then commit to/ determine to all go together to that distant church this Sunday.
Suggestions:
If it is too far, why not have your husband start and lead a "small home church" with just yall, and go to a main church every other week or once a month (when safe, good weather etc) while kids are young. Once theyre all around 6/7, you can all go to main church every weekend as a family. Do this in addition to his leading yalls daily family Bible hour.
You never know, God might use yall to start a actual home church, [for when witnessing in town, if folk are looking for a church, or they get saved when you share the Gospel, you could add them to your home church (and have 2 times during week/end that work for them attending)]. That way theres a church in the area. If/once it is big enough you can move it to a barn or somewhere. Idk how many people are in your area but God can use yall there. If not, then it just being the family is fine too. 😊
Just start out teaching the basics of Christianity for the Sunday School hour (even 15 min is ok at small age). Going over them and again. Teaching the 10 Commandments, memorizing by pictures. You can have them draw the images as an activity, and also color thrm in as a diff activity, (Repetition helps remember).
Then follow a typical Church worship schedule of events during service with kids songs, hymn music, announcements, a short sermon teaching something for them to learn. Short for small kids, longer for bigger kids, and full sermon message for in their teen years. You could teach giving, serving etc by them helping at service and again at Sunday lunch meal. After service you could even play/watch a sermon too that pairs with your Sunday School learning and sermon (it is best they stay on same verses so theres a connection). But if the two deviate then pick one to follow a sermon if you can, otherwise do a book series like from here(1). This will mostly be for you adults and any teens, as a after supplement to your Sunday Home Church.
You can find hymns at Grace Media app along with some kids stuff too. Theres hymns here in modern style, some in normal style, & kids songs, plus some in a 50s/60s style here. You could browse & sing to those.
You could take the kids to big church for VBS and for Awana & other activities and events when theyre older, as possible. Let the pastor & Sunday school teacher know you're situation & that your family will be there when possible, and participate with the youth group and Sunday School when possible. In fact, you could use the quarterlies the church uses for Sunday School to teach your kids at home, after you've taught them the Catechism essentials (as kids and teens). That way theyre in the same place as everyone else at church and you dont need to search, stress, nor reinvent the wheel for home church.
I would also suggest using this curriculum for your home daily family Bible hour (led by your husband) since it is ready, robust and increasingly informs... over a 9 year period 😀.
With kids at varying ages, he will simply have to decide which age range of the lessons to start them all in so theyre all learning in a group at the same time. Which is fine. If theres one 2+ years older than the other kids, have him be a helper too with the books, activities, materials etc so time flies and hes not bored. He will learn the core truths along with the kids and in time it will increase. Once theyre roughly the same age area of understanding he won't feel like its baby lessons. So give the older one a bit of serving opportunity until then. Then rotate the helper when theyre all at an older age.
Using it for your home family Bible hour,💡🎉✨️ 😀gives your husband time (now) each week to study, & build up lessons, devotions etc for teaching the home Bible hour later on... so hes not scrambling once they "age out" of that curriculum. He will have a couple years worth of material for their teen years, already ready, and can keep on trucking along as now every week building up lessons till all of them are 18. And the initial teen lessons (see below). By soing kid ver then teen ver, it's like the Grace curriculum; it increasingly informs, going deeper into the Catechism they learned as kids. It opens up wider here more in depth. (So that gives him a little more wiggle room for lesson planning for the teen years 💫).
There's no stress, no frantic, no last minute stuff, it gives breaks on vacation, summer etc and all around is a great help to him if you do Sunday School and home devotions that way.
If he isnt willing to do that, he could just 1. Take them thru this as kids, and then the deeper version as teens, (and these too). Plus move on to number 2 below.
●These foundational truths should be memorized, along with the verses.
○ Give rewards for every completed section.
○Start with these 👆before doing other studies or devotions. Do one at a time, till known, then move to the next.
2. Go through a Summary of each book if the Bible, then after that, simply read through Scripture, story by story, answering the faq listed here he sees as relevant (& that they ask). 😊. Include the rest of the stuff in the Bible hour; singing & prayer. It could be 30, 40 or 60 minutes. It is a Through the Bible lesson simply.
3. A fully planned out 5 year plan from age 13 till 18, to make it simple to teach your kids. It includes resources for further reading (or videos) to connect to Lessons.
⭐️Figure out which is best for your family and go from there for the teen years.
While educating your children at home, there will obv be some preteen & teen break out special studies for mom's and daughters, dad's and daughters, father's and son, and maybe a little bit of mom and son on respecting women, expectations of dating believer only (once 18?), topics on dating, sex, purity, abstinence, self control, & books related to that. That yall go through with them.
As well as some books to read at daily family "reading time" at home that might be gender specific. You can find some of those here. It can be read, by each, separately in private time, and then discussed after dinner. Ask your big church pastor and wife for some good books too and the youth leader. Since they teach on that at church.
*If homeschooling or not, these ideas help shape & structure the daily home life, put a focus and priority on God and living out the Faith, and general expectations, as you raise them unto decent people while "training them up in the Lord". ✅️
And... plug them into church fellowship studies, and (if possible) youth conferences that touch on those topics for pre teens & teen years, so there's reinforcement and possibly a bit deeper help shepherding them in holy living. And they see other young folk learning and going that direction "in righteousness" too.
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As to the church, community, being plugged in, encouraged etc...
*Call the pastor to ask if theyre free after church on Sunday for a light lunch and discussion. Pick a venue that works best with your kids. Even if its pre-made food yall eat in the church kitchen or dining hall while you feed the kids & watch the kids play freely in eye sight. Do check for their food allergies.
☆See if the pastor & wife has time over lunch to talk over this hybrid idea, and to encourage you. Do note your introvertedness, and see how they & the church can keep in touch with yall, to encourage you and not feel left all on your own. Community is important. Building connections is important.
Maybe even one of the godly men at church could come to your Sunday Home service occasionally to encourage him and help yall stay connected. See who the pastors wife could think of who might be a good blessing and encouragement for you too who might swing by during the week from time to time for a little light fellowship and some tea (esp if you are a sahm, anytime during the week would work). It helps yall stay connected to the church. Ensures the leadership knows you, is thinking about you and tries to engage when they can. You all stay in communication wuth them too.
And when possible, send your husband to the mens fellowship on Saturdays [usually 1x a month]. If it works to also send you to women's meeting sometimes, then he can watch the kids while youre gone or take yall and just scoop up the kids to the park and for a light treat while youre with the women. [*also, Ask the pastors wife to let the Sunday/women's group leader know youre a bit shy and need to be included to help you grow conformable with creating friendships and interact there, otherwise folk wont cuz they dont know].
Feel free (when kids are at a bit of independant age, or after theyre in bed; 8pm?) to open your home once a month for a light adult Bible study fellowship for anyone who can come. You'll both need to play host, but keep it to a strict time limit, so you (both) can do dishes, clean up, go to bed at a acceptable time. Fellowshipping tends to flow without a clock stop, so set an alarm if need be, 15 minutes before for wrap up and good byes 😁. Your husband can give em the old "Awwee. Time flew by! Well..... I guess its about time to head on home." And walk towards the door to give farewells. Folk will want to pee before leaving 😅, but it gets them to close in prayer and begin the skidaddle.
Hope this helps.
Footnotes:
(1) Sermon by book series
● Go here then type in or find "John", then filter to series, select Vol 1 and go from there.
○ Follow in order of the chapter and verse, and the year.
•If theres one from 2023 and one from 1975, continue with 2023 one, and if you want, next week play the 1975 audio anyway too.
○For John there's 126+ teachings in the Gospel series.
○For the below books you can pull up just the playlist on YouTube from GTY since theyre loaded there. But the rest are at the website, which is fine.
Video:
Audio:
Romans (123), Colossians (23)
I recommend:
John, Romans, Ephesians, Galatians, Colossians, and then Mark (as it is a quick summary reminder).
The order is a solid progression for studying the New Testament, especially considering both theological depth and practical application.
1. John
- **Focus**: Emphasizes the nature of Christ and is rich in theology about His divinity and love.
- **Foundation**: Establishes a strong foundation concerning who Jesus is.
2. Romans
- **Focus**: Contains a comprehensive theological treatise on sin, salvation, grace, and faith.
- **Importance**: Deepens understanding of justification and righteousness, crucial for Christian belief.
3. Ephesians
- **Focus**: Explores themes of grace, the church, and Christian living.
- **Connection**: Builds on the doctrinal teachings from Romans and applies them practically.
4. Galatians
- **Focus**: Addresses issues of legalism and emphasizes justification by faith.
- **Reinforcement**: Acts as a critical commentary on how grace is misunderstood and misapplied.
5. Colossians
- **Focus**: Highlights the supremacy of Christ and practical implications for living out faith.
- **Summation**: Wraps up themes from the previous letters, focusing on Christ's authority.
6. Mark
Focus: A fast-paced account of Jesus' ministry, miracles, and the use of parables.
Benefit:
Narrative Style: Provides a different perspective as a Gospel that highlights Jesus’ actions and teachings in a straightforward manner.
Complement: Acts as a bridge back to understanding Jesus' life in light of the theological foundations laid in the previous books.
○It also addresses the missing "ending".
This sequence allows for a systematic understanding of core Christian doctrines while progressively moving towards practical application in daily life.
Once you complete that, you could go through Genesis, at least Chapters 1 to 11. 😊
Genesis (42)
This series covers foundational topics of Scripture... such as creation, the fall, the promised Messiah, marriage design, sin, death, the flood, and the call to go forth into the world & multiply, and sets up the Biblical worldview. Providing deep theological insights and practical applications. And points to all the key problems in our nation & in today's world for lack of following what chapters 1-11 contain.
God bless!!
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* Bookmark this page to return here to use these resources in the coming days, weeks, and years. You can also set a calendar/alarm (with link) to do so too. 😊
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