Secondary matters that matter

What Hills should you die on? 

Besides the Essentials there are areas of secondary matters.

These are ones diff churches disagree on and it is due to either 1. Lack of biblical knowledge; they haven't matured yet in understanding Scripture, or 2. The straight up reality that person doing it & the ones embracing it are "not saved". And if it isnt #1 then theyre actually outside of Christianity and theyre excluded from what's being said on essential/secondary issues because that so called "church" is a false church with false teachers and false converts following false beliefs. For actual Christian secondary issues, these are areas where we can still be friendly with the brethren, but on some issues we cannot because it is clearly outside of Scriptural teaching (which the more mature believers understand). Today it is easier to get sucked into false teaching because of false churches and unbiblical teachings are more of a problem. 

For real Christians: If it isn't directly conflicting with Scripture you can fellowship, but if if it is then you can't and should not join hands. 

A disagreement on a secondary issue doesn’t mean one person is saved and another isn’t, but it normally prevents close partnership in ministry activities involving these issues. For example, my Presbyterian friends and I can join together in pro-life ministry, but we would most likely not plant a church together.(1)

But likewise a similar situation would be an essential issue: a Christian would never hold hands nor work together with those in false religions even those in false churches who are "claiming" to be Christian. [See examples here under minor groups and world religions.]

A secondary issue would be: Biblical Christians would hold that women preacher and teachers over men (let's say over the age of 21), and women teaching fellowship or cell groups over men are all no no no's. As is "affirming", or embracing lgbt alphabet mafia [as if theyre "Christian"] because theyre living in clear rebellion towards God (and no rebel holding such views has been converted [the converted surrender to and submit to God's Word]). These are all clearly unbiblical and unacceptable beliefs and lifestyles of rebellion. We do not go against what God has declared in Scripture on these moral and Christian living issues. So, we would not join a church that embraces these false teachings. Nor join hands with them for any reason. As, Light has no part with Darkness. 

There are some issues not even worth troubling over much that are secondary or tertiary. This is one:

Music. If they have a preference for music that you do not prefer, question whether it is glorifying God and uplifting Him, and not repetitive garble. If it is the former then it is fine. I personally prefer Hymns and I do not mind if the music has orchestral with some drums in it as long as proper music is played. It could be just a piano or organ. The lyrics are full of theology, that matters to me. I would not be drawn to a church that focuses on modern pop or rock music style and modern lyrics because it points to the focus not being on God but on the "performers" as if you are there for a concert of sorts [that would be in the world]. I have been in small churches that had drums and guitar and some are using them to glorify God, others just want someone up there even if they are an attention seeker pulling the glory focus from God to the dude with the instrument. And if the attention is on the musicians and instruments I would question if that is a real church. Though like prev mentioned, a few churches might be including it in a general sense not a concert sense then that's okay [as long as the one playing it is not seeking attention over God]. So... if it was the only solid biblical church in the greater area, I might just have to deal with it, and then play hymns in the car and at home during the week as a compromise. If the church is solid and sound, I wouldn't leave that church just because of it. Though I would hope there would be a hymn focused church within 50 miles I could drive to. But, that wouldnt cause me to not fellowship nor join with this church for gospel purposes in the community. 

Another secondary issue is a Pastors title. Personally if a pastor is wanting to be called something connected to his education, it makes him look like he has an ego problem, a pride problem. I would be thinking, why is this brother in Christ trying to "lord it over others" as if he is above us. His role is shepherd but we are equals. He is not above church discipline nor like a boss over believers. His gift is simply as a teacher and guide. So if he wants to go by Reverand or Doctor so and so then I am 99.9% likely to not join or attend his church, nor engage in ministry together in the community, because something is wrong there. He should not be connecting earthly titles to Christianity, and not be attention seeking by doing that. We are to be focused on eternal matters and godly way of living. 

On more important secondary issues, here is a good example. You would take a stance on teachings like infant baptism. In this case, you can still be friendly and fellowship with those churches that are protestant(1) and join in community work to do good for the Lord together. But you wouldn't join that church since you believe in Believer's Baptism. You also wouldn't attend or join that church, but you can partner together for the sake of the gospel in charity. 

Same goes for end times views. I wouldnt join a church that held diff view than what I believe Scripture clearly teaches, and would not go to their church, and would be cautious over holding hands with to work in community with them, and also likely not watch or even considering sharing the digital content of folk who hold a diff view on the biblical end times view, because it skews the Gospel. And how we minister to people would be at odds [& they might try to teach other views when you are together and try to pull people into their views, or have negative attitides towards you for holding a diff view], and damages the witness you are trying to be in the community or is just problematic when trying to do things together for the Lord. 

If they hold a unbiblical view on the Gospel and the Gospel message it would depend on what they are claiming the gospel is, as to whether they are a heretical church or group within Christianity [protestant] that I would not associate with. Sometimes it is not a denomination but a improperly taught evangelism, which can be corrected. Some are unaware they tell a false gospel, others have never been told the gospel properly. It does seem odd one could come to Christ without embracing the biblical Gospel and also not be able to articulate it. They may have a grasp on it but not sure how to have conversations to get to share it. BUT If they refuse to teach sin and repentance then I wouldnt associate with those folk and definitely wouldn't join their church. I would try to politely and lovingly explain [or share a link they can look into] of the correct way to understand & share the gospel, and if they embrace it then we can minister together in the future. 

Otherwise when "doing things together" we would be at odds [& they might try to teach a skewed gospel when you are together and try to pull people into their views, or have negative attitides towards you for holding to what Scripture clearly teaches], and it damages the witness you are trying to be in the community or is just problematic when trying to do things together for the Lord. So you wouldn't do things together with them if you already know their beliefs or after you find out about it, or if they refuse to look into it. 

So, some secondary issues causes you to narrow down very narrowly who you fellowship with, and join together on mission, and what churches you join. You must stand firm on what you believe. Things could change and they could grow in the future, but for now it is a hard no. 

It doesnt mean I would label them non Christian or a cult [because it depends on the issue]. I just wouldnt necessarily fellowship with those who have a currently wrong view of the most important secondary matters. In other cases, as noted, we can work together for the Lord on mission in the world. 

As noted this means any so called church or group listed in the links who are by biblical definition not Christian, we clearly would never join hands with them in any matters, incl moral ones; whether fighting abortion, lgbt+, joining together for a Presidential candidate, etc. Those folk can run their own opposition to those things at their own expense, and we as God's redeemed people will do so on our own. Otherwise the world thinks we are embracing a group as Christian when they arent!

Here is a look into secondary & tertiary views with a chart. And why they matter. 

On the less important secondary matters, and caution bcuz of weak or new believers.  

Caution on extremes, use balance method

Disagreeing in proper ways 

Lessons from Challies 

You definitely need to know where you stand; you must know and agree to all the essentials, and determine what your secondary views are, yet be open to growing in Scripture to change your views based on Scripture (not by slickly written books and old erroneous beliefs of others). While some denominations are set in their secondary beliefs, you can leave that denomination for more biblically accurate beliefs once you grow and mature in the knowledge of Scripture. Do not be content to remain in churches that wrongly teach important secondary matters. 

Do not be passive and lazy when finding a new church home. But be thorough in looking into a more appropriate church. Here are some helps and tips for that.

Footnotes

(1) real Christianity; Biblical Christianity. That is an essential because essential matters determine if one is actually Christian. 

Also that means "not" progressive.

We do not unite with false religions nor false groups that claim to be Christian. We do not unite with the false world religions; light and darkness have no part, we do not hold hands with Satan. Example. This is not a secondary matter but a primary one, an essential one. We do not associate with those who do not uphold only the 66 books of the Bible, the triune God YHWH, and the biblical gospel of Jesus. We can, should and do witness to those in lost world religions and false groups with the hope that God draws them to salvation, but we do not join together with the false ones. 

Hope this has helped and blessed you.