Should we have kids if election unknown

Concern of Having Children 

QUESTIONER: Considering a world full of pain and suffering why should a believer bring a child into this world?

JOHN: Why should a believer bring a child into this world, because of the ultimate existential possibility that that child could end up in hell, right? I mean, that’s the essence of that question. That is a question that has been pondered by Christians through the ages. The answer to the question is simply that the Lord says, “Be fruitful and” – what? – “multiply, and fill the earth, for His glory, for His glory.”

Now that poses a very interesting issue. You have no guarantee that the child you bring into the world is going to become a believer. But I do believe that any child that comes into the world in the end, one way or another will bring glory to God. It may be the glory of God fulfilled in the manifestation of even His wrath. It may be the glory of God fulfilled in the manifestation of His grace. But we do have this promise in Scripture, that if you bring up a child in the way he should go, when he’s old he will not depart from it.

And the whole idea of having children for believers is to pass righteousness from one generation to the next. You don’t want to become too fatalistically existential about children; you want to, as a believing couple, you want to say, “We are called by God to pass righteousness to the next generation.” We do that by having children and raising them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and praying for their salvation, and working the gospel into their lives; for the sake of their salvation, we put our trust in God that His purpose will be accomplished.

I think you can’t control destiny anyway, you are not in charge of ultimate ends of any creatures, any humans. So you’re not going to alter the ultimate plan of God, the ultimate purpose of God. But in His plan, particularly believers are to raise godly children. Paul writes to Timothy and says, “Look, women are saved through childbearing, saved from the stigma of having led the human race into the curse in the garden.” They’re saved from that stigma through childbearing if they bring them up in holiness and godliness.

So what you need to think about when you’re going to have a child is that having the child is just the beginning of a lifelong commitment to bring that child to the knowledge of Christ. In a very real sense, you are creating your most intimate mission field. You’re having children not so that you can show off your babies in their latest fashion, you’re having children so that you can pass righteousness to the next generation, so that you can be a part of another voice being added to the hallelujah chorus in glory. And the Scripture is full of promises from God to faithful parents. God’s blessing will fall on those faithful parents.

So this is God’s plan and God’s purpose. But God always accomplishes His purpose through faithful people. So you don’t want to think about it as some kind of fatalist and say, “I’m going to have a baby because I want a baby, and whatever God wants to do with that kid He can do.” You rather want to say, “We’re going to have a child and we’re going to pour our lives into that child for the glory and honor of God,” and God will honor that commitment.

Concern of Children Not being Saved

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How does someone come to terms with perhaps their child not being one of God’s elect? I totally believe in God’s sovereign election, and yet the idea of the child He blessed us with not being part of that plan can overwhelm me. I would appreciate some type of answer on that. Thank you very much. Bye.

JOHN:  Well, thank you, Lorie. You never, ever, ever want to come to that conclusion since you have no idea who is elect. You just have no right to that. It would mitigate against your prayers; it would mitigate against your passionate calls – gospel calls to the child. You don’t ever want to entertain that thought.

In fact, I have a very good friend who said to me one day at dinner, “I have a son who’s not elect.” And I was shocked.

And I said, “What in the world are you talking about.”

Well, that son is now a partner with that man in ministry. It turns out that God saved him. You don’t want to come to that conclusion. You don’t know the secret decree of God. You don’t want to assume that for your child. What you want to do is follow the biblical mandate, first of all, to pray faithfully for the salvation of your child, to evangelize passionately and consistently, and live with the constant hope that “the effectual prayer of a righteous man can avail much.”

I just think that’s something that is outside our knowledge, and you don’t want to draw that conclusion. I think even in the case of – you know, you’ve prayed for this person; they’re now 22, 23 – look, life can go on a lot longer than that. You don’t want to assume anything like that to be true. I think you want to be concerned; you want to be prayerful; you want to use every gospel opportunity you can. The truth is you don’t know that. You don’t know when God may do the actual saving and prove that this child is among the elect. So, you don’t want to give up on that at all.

https://www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/GTY116/hotbutton-questions-about-the-bible-and-christian-life  video