lgbt family

How to manage relationship when a family, friend or adult child says theyre lgbt+ or otherkin

Bookmark this page so you can reference it for your preparation. 

This page is for Christians.

Q: What would you do if a close family member suddenly decided to enter a same sex relationship out of nowhere and leave the faith?

And, would you let your kids be around this person or their partner?

A: Would I send my kids to that person’s house? No, and I wouldn’t want them spending time alone with this person (nor couple). Would I avoid family gatherings because that person will be there? Probably not, but... would I prefer family would unanomously together say "the family member is welcome but the partner is not", because it will confuse the children, and its not proper. And same for when the person wants to visit my home... limit the person visiting, & not allow the partner, (not by video, phone calls, nor in person). 

Its true that the odds are, your kids arent homeschooled yet, and the kids are going to meet a few people in life who live that lifestyle. Seeing us model the way to deal with it in a bigger setting may be beneficial for them, but with boundaries in place. And if necessary you will end the visit if issues arise.

It is likely the person is trying to live in sin apart from family, and act like all is normal and well around you. But likely the sex partner is a atheist God hater [[(that includes 'progressives' who go to church [and claim theyre Christian [as they worship a false jesus and false god]], and the loved one is dancing with the devil.

My recommendation:
If you allow the person in your life, youll need a sit down asap, but u need to prepare first. i would add part of the modeling is having a discussion with the family member at your house while the kids are in earshot, carefully but truthfully explaining why "what she is in" is wrong. Ask her to basically "hear you out before she says anything, and inform her you are not attacking her, & ask her to remove the emotions and focus on the important parts, to see how from my view that what i am saying is loving and meant to bless her. But also that it is important to discuss the elephant the room, get it out in the open now, and so she knows where you really stand." Then pray over her, and tell her "you will keep her in prayer, and you are avail for any confidential and honest discussion on her lgbt choice, and any Qs about Christianity, God, and the Bible." So you keep the relationship open for counseling and caring. End with "we are all made in God's image and for the purpose he made us, so you dont want her to think she is not valued as a human, as a family/friend, but that her choice has put her in a position to cause seperation from the family/fellowship, just as sin does between a person and God. You can still repent of your lgbt sins to God and have restored fellowship with God and the same with family/friendship, but until then, theres emnity there that she has put there."

If you need to rehearse this or put in a well made video instead, do what is best, but if by video have it edited well. Even if you show the video at home instead of a convo. So she has to watch the whole thing without interrupting ir attacking you, and then you can discuss it further after the video. And lay down rules for family interactions...if she doesnt repent of her sin and chooses to remains rebellious to reality and truth.  But let her know you do love and care about her, want her to be right with God and the family, and you will be open to any conversations she would like to seek you out for, and prayer requests, and even Bible studies if she wants, or even a lunch out with just the two of you as siblings/cousins/whatever relative relation she is. [Be a blessing, but do not allow the partner to join. (A1)

Be loving, caring, but firm in truth, ...and pray daily for her after that. 

Dont be judgmental, condesending, but gentle, and caring, but hold to truth. Later she will respect you for it. 

Preparing

A great way to prepare for that convo is to go thru this(1) and plan what you will say. With that said, i would then have a "before" and "after" sit down w the kids (same day) and explain what the issue is, that it has affected the family, why lgbt & furries is wrong, and how her sin choice will affect her relationship with the family, & limit our interactions with her. [Depending on the kids ages, perhaps the before should happen 15 min b4 the fam member arrives, so they dont alert the person before arrival, as some teens might if they have been brainwashed in public schools or view her as their fav relative]. 

I am not sure i would invite her (not the partner) over at holidays but if you invite the family member... Christmas(2) should take a more serious change (if its not actually Christ focused) to make it Christ focused and do Bible reading, concluding with the gospel(3). And how our lives are "such were some of you" diff after Jesus saves us. 

1.
http://snsanswers.blogspot.com/2022/10/identity-crisis.html ⭐

2. Some suggestions on Christmas helps can be found throughout this article. You can do similar things for Resurrection day. 

http://snsanswers.blogspot.com/2022/10/christmas.html

3. NeedGod.com

*Theres a Christmas gospel video also, optionally. 

4. I might even ask her to read the Christmas story out loud, to have it go deep in her heart and mind at the family gathering. 

At minimum, with the above, youll be knowledgeable how to help/interact/respond going forward, but you can also share certian links (or, both or either identity page) with them to help them understand it is not from judgmentalism, but biblically from Christian love, so they understand the "why" and "what" of the issue, and know what they need to do yo "resolve" the core issue. You can do that in a loving way.

I hope this helps. It will be a help for you in other lgbt convos and for your children and family and church family to understand and equip them for this new battle in this sinful world, esp since it has snowballed in USA in last few years. It isnt an issue Christians ever thought would be a problem here. We couldnt forsee whats going on today back in 2003, 2005, 2009, or 2012. Now that its here, we need to be equipped, and by doing so, we can navigate these interactions anywhere anytime. You might now have this new convo 500x in your lifetime, and your kids too. We cannot just act like it doesnt exist. We must be truth bearers.

"God please help the reader get equipt to tackle this issue, may you give them the knowledge and godly temperment to handle this new sexual sins issue, in their circle of influence, and may it bring light and free many from lgbt+ and may they turn to Jesus for salvation. May they also work on the things in their life that may be a hibderence to the loved one, may their life become more in line with Christ and be walking stronger on the narrow pathbof righteousness, be saturated in the Word, reading it daily, and be gracious, gentle, loving and truthful in convos bith related to lgbt, in general in interactions with others and in gospel convo opportunities. May they be a light and blessing to those around them. In Jesus name. Amen" - my prayer over you. 😊

God bless

More counseling helps

Christian answers to lgbt related questions

Making sure we are educated and help others

 

The problem with preferred Pronouns 

The other problem with preferred pronouns

Wheres the harm in affirming 

How to love our neighbor when they invite us to a same-sex marriage. 

What to do if family member/friend turns back in me or disowns me because of pro Bible views on sin, sex and marriage? 

Ideas

Of course Pray daily.

If it is your whole family, invite them [minus the lgbt partner] to your place (by invite in the mail) to your or your childrens birthday party. 

 And maybe your anniversary event, at 5, 10 &/or 15 yr marks. Invite them by invite to your place for a New Year gathering, the weekend after new years. Order delivery food when they arrive so you dont waste time, effort and food if 20 dont show up. Invite some appropriate friends from church to join you, and make them aware of issue so they can love on them, but be cautious about whatever sensitivity they need to be. 

*If no one shows up, but church family, enjoy the fellowship. Pray for your families, each other, and for another opp to reach your lgbt family. And do the same for your church members. *you could also lead a seminar on "how to reach your lgbt family and friends" at church once you are equipped and have tried some of these methods.  

If they have not blocked you on facebook, post some of the below faq on your fb wall once a month. Maybe on the 1st of the month. Title the post - FAQ of the Month. 

FAQ of the Month

"Do lgbt misjudge Christians?"

Link here

If you have any questions my dm is open and convos are confidential. 

Doing this gives them a chance to poke without you knowing theyre looking.  It could help soften relations when they realize they misjudged you, and realized you love them and love God. Repeat these faq posts forever, and use new ones when added. You can also grab additional ones from GotQuestions.org after exhausting the ones linked here- answers and picked from the identity crisis pages of info. 

You can also discuss this strategy with your church friends and ask them to regularly [even every Sunday in Sunday School or after church]  go to your social page(s), give it a thumbs up, and comment things like "this has a good answer, thanks for sharing" and "i never realized this before"... lil positive comments that will get your family (and unsaved people in your circle) curious & looking at the link. It will also equip your church family too. Just ask them to comment in love and with grace, so it draws the lgbt person to truth & not pushes them away from Christians. 

Also, big note:

If you cant get in the door [cuz they choose to cut off contact], you can  get in by sending them a loving Birthday, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving and New Years cards by mail. A quality one with adding heartfelt personal writing. And at Christmas & Easter 👉 include a solid Gospel tract. You can find lil booklet ones at livingwaters.com and a few fun ones, so its not boring to them. Plan out which ones youll send over next 10 years. Then stash them with your Christmas cards box. Maybe the 1st couple years dont include your return address on the envelopes, so they open it. If necessary, mail it from a diff town so they dont realize it is you. 

And do an end of year annual "family update" letter, include a Bible verse at the end. Keep it peppered w Christianity. Keep to 2 pages. And include a gospel link like needGod.com at the end as part of a "if anyone isnt sure if theyre saved and right with God, this tells us how we can". We love you all and are looking forward to seeing you soon. 

Hope these tips help. 

Footnote

(A1):

If she tries, and both show up. Change the topic and day purpose. Thank them for coming to you "for counseling" [😂], and use that time to have a loving impactful discussion. 

Be prepared by memorizing Scriptures in advance so you can talk. And follow up by sending a text, email or dm to a link on the answers or the identity crisis link, and let them look into it themselves. 

Most people living in sin are not interested in truth nor doing what is right, because theyre blinded by Satan and the sin nature. Many live in various sins but sexual sin is a stronghold where God, at some point, draws the line gives them over and cuts off the opportunity for salvation, and leaves them in their sin.  So do your best and if they dont get out of it, they will be accountable to God on Judgment Day, and you will have loved them enough to have warned them while they were alive. They rejected it and sealed their fate.

So pray daily for God to save them, for him to give you opportunities, for others to reach them for Christ as well, and to be faithful that even if they die in their sins, that you had done your best and that is all you can do. Be a herald of the Gospel & Truth and leave the rest to God.